20 behaviors my mother taught me
1. brush your tongue
mom taught me to brush my teeth and then brush my tongue, getting as far back as I possibly could without gagging. this was to remove the layer of bacteria in the film the covers your tongue and to remove the sugars that might have settled there (like the blue color that a raspberry popsicle can leave). she also found that this reduced the number of sore throats she got. ive found this to actually work. since I started brushing my tongue, i can count the number of sore throats i’ve gotten on one hand and it’s been years.
2. sleep naked
her take on this is that skin needs to breathe, and so do your nether regions…especially for women. A lot of clothing is made of synthetic materials and limits the amount of air that passes through the clothing to your skin. if you can spend more time at home with less on the better.
3. swim
one of the best forms of whole-body exercise and one of the most relaxing ways to do it. mom would get in the canal for 30 minutes almost every day from may to september. the canal is not warm.
4. work out your chest muscles
mostly directed at women, mom found that the most of her aerobic students had weak chest and core muscles due to bad posture and general lack of use. Building up the pectoral muscles makes your breasts perkier, and in tandem with working your shoulders and back, it makes you stand up straighter and appear more confident and help curb back fat by toning the area. it can also reduce stress pain in the back.
5. meditate
we used to make fun of mom for this before yoga was cool. if you spend some time calming your mind it helps your mood and can prevent some types of stress headaches.
6. take baths
this was my mom’s favorite way of mediating. it gives you time to yourself to read or relax. I picked up the use of epsom salts and bath oils from mom. skin care is important to mom and she believes that the skincare regimen begins with the bath.
7. be late (sometimes)
mom was often late when we were young. partly because we always had to drive so far (from our house in the middle of nowhere) and partly because to mom, the process of getting ready in the morning might as well be set in stone. variation caused unnecessary imbalance to the rest of the day. and sometimes…just fuck it, we’ll be late. It’s not worth it to stress and drive crazy.
8. keep animals
sometimes just the act of caring for something that depends on you gives you the necessary sense of validation of your existence. animals also make an excellent captive audience and companionship. it also teaches you to that just because you will it, doesn’t make it so. animal independence is a lesson in its own way. we had what eventually became a small partly domestic, partly feral farm consisting of chickens, turtles, rabbits, cats, dogs, guinea pigs, leopard geckos, and ducks. it was fun.
9. spent at least 15 minutes outside every day
controlled environments might be great for plants sometimes but you tend to soften your body’s natural defenses and your own sense of survival. your body needs sunlight, just take care not to burn your skin. mom (an irish rose) and very much understands the concept of sunblock. but the fear of skin cancer shouldn’t make you a cave-dweller.
10. go for walks
if you can’t exercise, at least go for a walk. the movement is helpful for circulation.
11. drink tea
tea can be calming, good for antioxidants or just a good way to drink more water if water seems too boring to drink. mom also sings the praises of herbal remedies that help regularity. regularity is important and hilarious.
12. surround yourself with plants
plants brighten your mood and circulate your air. they are living things and need care. if you treat them like pets you tend to remember to take better care of them. mom is the daughter and daughter-in-law of green-thumbs but the plants are outside plants and carefully orchestrated to mostly take care of themselves. i like to fuss over plants. to each their own.
13. get off the couch when you watch tv
mom used to sit on the floor in front of the tv and do mild exercises. you don’t really have to think much about doing little sit ups and leg lifts. the motion is beneficial and you can still watch tv. that is, if mom isn’t blocking the tv with her leg.
14. read slower
it used to irritate me that mom would take so long to finish a book. Especially if I wanted to talk to her about parts she hadn’t reached yet and I had developed the college english geek’s desire to out read everyone. But i began to see that she was purposefully slowing down the reading process to improve her absorption of the story. i found that after time, she was more able to retain more of the details of the story than I was. she made each book an event, carefully selected and experienced as fully as possible.
15. simplify your décor but have a sanctuary room full of your pretty things
cleaner surroundings made for less frustration at home, in aspect of cleaning and relaxation. a lot of stuff just ends up in estate sales, but that crap can be relegated to one room as long as it’s coordinated crap. mom and i have sanctuary bathrooms with lots of useless decoration that no one really has to see much but you. kind of like a altar to yourself.
16. attend community festivals
i was dragged to so many culture and art festivals as a kid, but it broadened my horizons. Especially having grown up in small town america. it also encourages you to actually notice what’s going on in the community around you. sometimes it’s easy to check out of the local scene.
17. volunteer
this is something that i still struggle with. i’m naturally pretty introverted and unless opportunities come right up to my face i don’t seek out things to get involved in. when mom wasn’t working she used to volunteer for crisis organizations. one thing she did eventually come to stumble with is over-commitments and realizing that help is wonderful but martyrdom shouldn’t always be the outcome.
18. nap
taking time to rest gives your body a chance to repair the damage from life. to live is to die and to sleep is to renew. etc.
19. endure your hangover
if you earned it, you deserve your hangover. mom always tries to tell me to listen to my body and that pain is a signal and not the source of the problem. don’t treat the symptoms treat the problem. drink water and let your body correct the imbalance you’ve caused by oversupplying it with something it can’t process. learn from the hangover and don’t 1. mix types of alcohol and 2. don’t drink cheaply made and poorly filtered crap and 3. sugary drinks help it go down but the cake is a lie.
20. appreciate your body for what it is and what it can do
it’s a miraculous composite of material. though it may not be ideal or function like everyone else’s. if you only look at it’s faults you won’t appreciate it’s capabilities. the odds of you existing are pretty astounding when you think about the physics of the universe. whatever you believe in, it’s presence and your life are what you make it. mom may not have always been happy with her body and her appearance but she had done what she can to take care of her body and keep it fit and healthy, and she has a rather remarkable glow. a real glow, the kind you can’t mix in a bottle.
i don’t always follow her lead or even the advice of hers that i do take to heart but it’s always struck me that she does try to take care of us the best she can. take this apart if you will but these things have always helped me and i’m very grateful to her for it.
8 Comments