the frigid north: blood and deprivation
this morning at his aunt’s house in chugiak, mr. a answered the phone and spoke to the woman we had previously housesit for (mrs. log cabin). she wanted to know if it would be alright if she stopped by the house we were at now to drop off the check for payment. mr. a told her that would be fine.
though i was helping with the actual housesitting, the people we are sitting for have only talked to him. although they said he could have friends over, i’m pretty much the add-on un-discussed.
so when mrs. log cabin came to the door, i was the one who answered it, (mr. a was in the bathroom). she looked a little bewildered to see me, as we restrained our separate dogs. lizzie was a good girl, just peering out the door. mrs. log cabin had starr’s leash wrapped around a railing. i quickly explained that i was mr. a’s girlfriend. “oh!” she said, and we made brief and awkward small talk about starr and bruised metatarsals.
when mr. a finally came bounding down the stairs, she handed him the check and they spoke a little while before she was on her way, but i left the situation feeling like an ass for being a stranger she didn’t know.
blood and deprivation
something i ate cut the roof of my mouth last night. i could feel the raw flesh with my tongue. i couldn’t stop feeling it. when i brushed my teeth i spit out red. when i woke up in the morning i felt i could taste metal.
we were unsure if mr. a’s aunt and her family were coming home last night or tonight. i hounded mr. a for not writing it down. unable to contact her by telephone, we decided to stay. i felt weird being there. but it got late, watching mr. a play metal gear solid 2 and watching bloody sunday. it got to be 4am. my eyes were heavy as i fell into bed. i didn’t even cuddle with mr. a.
i had dreams of mundane reality. in my dreams i spoke with mr. a’s mother. i spoke to my grandmother. time was short. i couldn’t come up with an answer that was on the tip of my mind. i woke up to the phone ringing and lizzie playing with the covers.
we had been sleeping in too late, lizzie’s morning routine was being neglected. i felt groggy. time of the month time. time for pepcid pill for lizzie. time for her to go out to do her business. time to go home to my apartment and my shower.
after we ate at arctic roadrunner, mr. a dropped me off. i looked up bloody sunday on wikipedia. i looked up the omagh bombing. i read the testimonials of the victims and witnesses. blood and limbs everywhere. unidentifiable dead bodies. broken glass in the heads of children.
my eyes hurt. i’d been staring at too many screens. every day. screen to screen to screen. i felt like sleeping. but i thought better of it. the less sleep i give myself the more i’ll want to go to bed at a decent hour tonight. i hope.
No Comments Yet