the frigid north: shadow on the sun
the initial apartment inspection was supposed to be today, meaning ava from the leasing office was going to come take a look at my grotesque “rose” carpet between 2pm and 5pm and determine whether or not it should be replaced. what i want to know is who found the carpet acceptable for me. they probably suspected that i needed to be brought down a peg or two. having to deal with cigarette burns and mysterious stains should take the spoil out of a child. anyway, she didn’t come at all. about ten minutes to five i called the office and inquired. the woman i spoke to said that apparently, “sue” (the inspector?) just forgot. but she said she would go remind sue. well, that was about two hours ago and the office is closed now.
shadow on the sun
deep into last night mr. a and i were huddled together in front of my 12″ powerbook watching a movie we had consistently put off watching for no other reason than just having the luxury to do so. but it was a damn good movie. even from the preview we could tell, (back when the movie was playing legitimately in theaters.)
collateral. mr. a said he was surprised by tom cruise’s performance. i had to agree. tom cruise played an actual bad guy. but there was something else, the feel about it. you know a movie was done well when you walk away taking note of the director (in this case, michael mann.)
the best i can describe the sensation is tension. i know this is going to sound kind of weird, but for me the movie actually induced sense recall. i remember realizing i was moved, sometime in my past, by a similar sensation being emitted from this movie. then i remembered another time i felt that way. it was another movie watching situation.
back in the day, when i was dating mr. portland we had a lot of movie dates. usually cozy up in his room, sometimes with wine, we would watch the sopranos, or an obscure movie mr. portland heard was pretty good (and more often than not he was right). the time i’m thinking of i think was valentine’s day. the movie was the replacement killers. i don’t remember much about the movie, or if it was good. imdb is telling me 5.8 stars. but the feeling i remember came at the end of the movie, the very end. the credits. it was the song that was playing. a deep, emotive song that feed off the feelings solicited from the movie. i remember feeling drunk on emotion, possibly wine.
one particularly great part of collateral features the song shadow on the sun by audioslave. there is something about the combination of that movie and that song that gets that same sort of response out of me. and i’m not even big on audioslave.
what i am suspecting, is that this sensation is an emotional orgasm.
the most powerful emotional orgasm i ever got was at a beulah concert, no joke. i had a witness, and he had one too. as much as i can tell they come from a mixture of the following: deep resounding music, cinematic, darkness, unreleased, astoundingly frustrating sexual tension, alcohol, and exhaustion.
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